I. Because I hate that when I thought about writing this post, I was hesitant because I wasn't going to share it on Facebook. (But obviously since I'm without Facebook, I need some reaffirmation that cyberspace is still listening to my thoughts.) II. I also hated that my instinctive reaction when going on my computer (or on any device) was to check Facebook.
III. I also hated that I wasn't self-controlled enough to discipline my self and my Facebook habits. And the Bible says to cut off the hand that makes you sin, so I'm cutting off a habit that adds no to very little value to my life.
IV. I just looked at Facebook one night, and really thought, "I don't need this. I'm at a point where I can not use this." It felt very liberating. Of course Facebook tries all these different ploys to make you stay, but I was persistent (for once in my life).
V. I spent a lot of time on Facebook envying people, and dreaming up this imaginary, ideal life. I don't want to be the type of person that sits around, just envying people, and isn't actually living that ideal life.
VI. I also hated that I based my self-worth off of how many likes I got on a photo. (Yes, I'm that pathetic.) I am worth more than however many likes I get on something, but that was a murky idea when I was on Facebook.
VII. Did I mention the whole self-descipline thing? It was such a time sucker, but I could never tear myself away from it. I wanted to know what people thought of me.
VIII. My biggest reservation was thinking: Crap, I won't get as many work shifts & people won't be able to contact me. But I still have a phone and an email, and thus far, people have been getting along really well with that.
IX. Stupid reason: but it makes me feel mysterious. I was an over-sharer on Facebook, and this makes me feel like there are thoughts and things in my heart that are just for me. I really like that idea. I like knowing that everyone no longer knows everything about me.
X. Even though it's just been a week, I feel more focused. I know that's stupid, but I'm not constantly wondering, "What's new on Facebook in the last five minutes?" I'm worrying less about what others are doing and more about what I'm up to.
XI. I have more time for some things - like writing this. Normally I think about writing a blog post - and then I creep on Facebook for an hour before deciding - hey, I should go to bed. The blog post never gets written. It gets pushed to the side. I like writing though, and I like having time for it, and I like being focused for it.
XII. Obviously I'm not more productive with my life (because my personal mission as of late has been to finish all seven seasons of Gilmore GIrls - from start to finish - before the semester's end) - but I feel really good. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK.
XIII. Not only was I dreaming of an ideal life, but I was also only painting a small portion of my life on Facebook, which ignored a lot of stuff because I wanted to censor myself and seem better than I was. To be honest, this has been a year that's asked a lot of questions and I don't feel like I have a lot of answers to those questions. I'm feeling fragile, but Facebook doesn't always feel like a place that welcomes fragile, ya feel?
XIV. I just feel better without it in my life. And I like feeling good. (Feelin' groovy!)
ALL THAT TO SAY, I may be using this blog more (but I've made that promise before and #fail). However, I'm excited for this nifty little journey and I hope you'll join me, even if it's just for a piece of it.